Porque's Potification

The main reason for walking a dog is to get it all wrung out. That's why you allow the dog to urinate on every little blade of vegetation along the way after first sniffing for other dogs' similar messages. I never cease to be amazed at how many times a tiny chihuahua can urinate on one walk with the temperature nearly 90 degrees. By the time we get back home, she's got to be approaching negative hydration. This morning I counted the incidents in a five block stroll. That little dog urinated at least thirty times... when I stopped counting. She must have rationed it out so at each stop she only had to squeeze out one drop. She dashed into the kitchen and began to drink immediately, thus defeating the purpose for the walk.

Of course the other purpose for the walk is that the dog defecate on someone else's yard. It's horrible attitudes like this that get dog owners hated. Letting your dog make a big steamy pile right where some poor soul is going to put his foot as he steps out of his car coming home from work this afternoon, sick and wrong, folks, very bad. I never do anything so crude because although I fondly hope that Porque Choppe will defecate on someone else's lawn, as soon as she's finished, I pick it up in a plastic grocery bag, using the bag as a glove. Then I tie the bag shut. Before going indoors, we of course stop by the garbage tub next to the garage. Now Porque's turds are nothing like the proverbial steamy pile. She makes itty bitty little nuggets which become rock hard and turn black in about fifteen minutes if not picked up. On the few occasions when I left the house without my needed grocery sack, Porque's products were a great embarrassment and I tried to kick them under a bush. Someone over on the next street has a ghastly dog that defecates all over the sidewalk. Porque wouldn't do that. That other misbegotten mutt wouldn't either if I were walking him. What kind of block head allows a dog to poop on the sidewalk?

Why am I writing about dog excrement? Isn't there already enough trouble in the world without some dodo talking about doggy doodoo? Yes there is. However, I need to talk this out because this morning at the park up the street, I stepped in a vast squash of highly odoriferous dog accident. A ninety year old man across from the park owns a bossy, opinionated poodle which excretes like it was a water buffalo instead of a ten pound dog. Yes, all that drech came out of the poodle, supposedly a classy breed. I hate that zero-class hyperactive ass poodle. I wasn't even wearing sneakers, just sandals with no sides. Think about it. GRRRRRR........ If Porque cranked out more raw material, I'd collect it and leave it on his porch right in front of the door. I don't care if that poor old man is ninety years old. He shouldn't let his dog leave land mines of this description.